Self-control

The more you want, the less you get.
Wish for nothing and have the world.

Ena življenjska

Ničesar, kar se dogaja okrog vas, ne jemljite osebno. Vse, kar počnejo drugi ljudje, počnejo zaradi sebe, ne zaradi vas.
- Miguel Ruiz

Citati

Life is like a box of chocolates. It gets empty pretty quickly. (M)

Old age does not protect you from love, but love protects you from old age!

There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go.

Hapiness is for people who can't stand being miserable.

Love isn't when you can name a milion things you love about the person. Love is when you can't even find words to describe how you feel about them.

Expectation is the root of all heartache. Desire is the root of all suffering.

Egoist je tisti, ki ne misli name.

S poroko si z nekom razdeliš probleme, ki jih ne bi imel, če bi ostal samski.

Tisti, ki popusti ko nima prav, je pošten; tisti, ki popusti tudi ko ima prav, je poročen.

Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead...

Nihče ni popoln, dokler se ne zaljubiš vanj.

“I was about half in love with her by the time we sat down. That's the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty... you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are.” J. D. Salinger

Words are tears that have been written down. Tears are words that need to be shed. Without them, joy loses all its brilliance and sadness has no end.

Živi in pusti živeti.

"Imagination is more important than knowledge." - A. Einstein

In our life there's if, in our business there's sin, in our beliefs there's lie, in our bodies there's die ... in our lovers there's over, in our friends there's end.

"The sound of the ocean is dead, it's just the echo of the blood in your head." - Dax Riggs.

Time you enjoy wasting, isn't wasted time.

Vse, kar rabite vedeti o Cerkvi

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle.
Then I realised God doesn’t work that way, so I stole one and prayed for forgiveness.

Sanjal sem, da sem zaspan

Sanjal sem, da sem zaspan. Bil sem tudi zelo žejen. Poskušal sem vstati in si naliti pijače. Po kakih 10 minutah mi je uspelo natočiti 3dl bambusa. Eksal sem ga. Hotel sem si natočiti še enega, vendar sem bil preveč zaspan. Pol sem se zbudil. Šel sem v kuhinjo, si natočil 2dl neke poceni cole in jo eksal. Bebi sem povedal kaj sem sanjal in me je oklicala za pijanca. Ne vem zakaj ne tudi za zaspanca, ampak ok. Pol sva šla v spalnico, kjer sem ji pokazal kdo ima hlače v tej hiši. Ko sva končala sem ji hlače obesil nazaj na obešalnik. Ko sem hotel ponovno zaspati več nisem bil zaspan.

Kepica

Danes se je na avtocesti med Lendavo in Mursko Soboto zgodila strašanska nesreča. Avtomobil znamke KIA je drvel po prehitevalnem pasu s hitrostjo 145 km/h, ko je iz avtomobila padla kepica. Očevidce, ki so nesrečo videli, se naproša, da se takoj oglasijo na lokalni policijski postaji, da podajo izjavo. Najditelje kepice se naproša, da storijo enako. Obeta se jim velikanska nagrada. V primeru, da kepico najdete, jo kličite po imenu Stracciatella in jo po najhitrejšem možnem postopku spravite na hladno. Najraje v zmrzovalnik. Navajena je namreč nizkih temperatur in lastnik se boji, da bo od šoka udarca ob asfalt in nenormalnih temperatur podlegla poškodbam. Najditelju kepice se garantira nagrada v višini 50 evropskih centov, če vrnejo kepico v celoti. Ob delni vrnitvi se nagrada primerno zniža.

Ljubezenska funkcija

V googlov iskalnik vpišite: sqrt(cos(x))cos(300x)+sqrt(abs(x))-0.7)(4-x*x)^0.01, sqrt(6-x^2), -sqrt(6-x^2) from -4.5 to 4.5.

Ena antiegoistična

Egoist je tisti, ki ne misli name.

Word play

Changed my iPhone name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

How to spot a blind man in a nudist colony? It's not hard.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

When chemists die, we Barium.

I was gonna make a gay joke, butt fuck it.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

Got arrested while playing guitar, for fingering A minor.

Governments that try to control the internet are SOPAthetic.

Why did the condom fly across the room? Because it was pissed off.

Energizer bunny arrested. Charged with battery.

How did I get out of Iraq? Iran!

Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period!